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The women's new shoes...

My grandmother lived in the small hamlet of Shinglehouse, PA for 50+ years until her death last year.  Shinglehouse is a very small community of 1200 people, 3 churches, a grocery store, a drug store and a gas station that doubles as an eatery. So, a few years back when she learned that Dollar General was building a new store in her, she became excited and began to count down the days until the store opened.   This meant that she would have access to many items that she could only get by paying a premium at the town grocery or by driving 20 miles.

Upon my grandmother’s death it became apparent that she had made a large impact on the workers of the Dollar General.  The workers at this store pooled together money to buy flowers for my grandmother’s wake.  This was not a small gesture as I would imagine that these workers do not collect six figure salaries.  It was a beautiful flower arrangement that included my grandmother’s favorite colors of aqua blue and yellow.  They obviously knew my grandmother very well.  Several workers attended her wake and told me a story about my grandmother that I had not heard before.

This is the story.  On a winter morning, my grandmother was shopping in the store and women with no shoes ran into the store.  If you live in New Jersey and see someone run into a store without shoes, the normal reaction is to get as far from the person as possible.  But, this wasn’t a reaction that was in my grandmother’s nature.  She approached the women and learned that the women and her family had just lost everything in a fire and that the women had left her home with no shoes.  So, without hesitation she handed the women money to buy new shoes.

What would you do?  If you died today, how would you want to be remembered? 

Born with a Silver Dollar and a Promise...

On a recent drive past a somewhat vacant NJ Strip Mall, I noticed that a new Dollar General was opening soon.  So, most of you will say "So what, who cares about another dollar store".  But just the thought of having this store in my town actually provided me with intense joy as I began to reminisce about my childhood and how these types of stores have impacted me.

Some of my earliest shopping memories involved visiting my grandmother at her bank job, having lunch nearby and going to the local D&K Store (predecessor of the many dollar stores).  I remember spending hours sifting through all the fun stuff in the store and choosing my selections very carefully.  It was like a great treasure hunt and I always left the store elated and anxious to find a place in my bedroom for my new found items.

As a child, the thing I never realized was all this 'stuff' was really low grade junk.  And I also didn't realize that I was marginally poor.  This is because; the words 'poor' were never echoed from the mouths of my mother or grandmother.  They hadn't lied to me, they simply believed that with hard work and diligence, life holds a promise of better days.

In today's uncertain economic times, the hope of better days and the appreciation of little things are key attitudes for coping. My goal with my children is to instill attitudes and behaviors that enable they to feel joy even during the hardest times of their lives.

Nissan Murano: “Haunted” Window Feature

I leased a Nissan Murano about a year ago and I absolutely love this car.  I really enjoy driving it and the seats are very comfortable for everyone.  But, the car does have one interesting feature.

The morning after I purchased the vehicle, I approached the Murano and found that both front windows were all the way down.  So, I chalked it up to ‘User Error’ and never thought about it again.

This past Friday, we had an ice/rain storm that lasted most of the day.  In the evening, my husband and I went out (in his car) and when we returned, the front windows of the Murano were down.  It’s a good thing that the rain subsided a few minutes after we left to go out.  I retraced every step that I had taken earlier in the evening over and over again and couldn’t  determine how the windows had been lowered.

That was until….Our 12 year-old daughter found the link below.  It appears that Key Fob is designed to activate the lowering of the front windows when the ‘Unlock’ button is depressed for 5 seconds.  

Well, I have to say that this “Feature” isn’t a desired one during cold, wet northeast winters….  I hope you find this blog entry before you find your windows down!!!

http://www.nissanmurano.org/forums/showthread.php?pagenumber=1&s=&threadid=8322

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Children: Letting them take the Wheel...

It seems like yesterday that my little girl was wearing a cute fuchsia polka dot dress with a pastel camp hat.  But, it wasn’t yesterday or the day before.  In fact, it’s been at least a decade since she wore this type of attire.  

How did time pass so quickly?  Have I done all I could to prepare my daughter for the future?  These questions and more flood through my head as I reflect on the bittersweet reality of my daughter’s impending Senior Prom and High School Graduation. 

It’s not that I haven’t prepared for this time in my daughter’s life, but I have been in my own numb state of denial regarding the fact that my oldest daughter is becoming an adult and my days of ‘parenting’ her are numbered.  I’m thinking that this time should be filled with utter happiness and joy. But, underneath my joy is a layer of sorrow that stings for the loss of the child that is becoming a woman. 

My husband and I were very young (22 years old) when Manda was born.  We were still mostly teenagers looking for a direction in life.  It didn’t take long for us to realize that by having a child, our direction was defined.  Many of life’s questions that people in their 20’s ponder over for years; we found answers for in mere months.   Making Manda’s life good was our driving force.  We worked hard to create careers for ourselves with a few college credits and bought our first house at age 25.  When Manda was in Kindergarten, we welcomed a second daughter.  We were very lucky.

My life has centered around the girls and their various activities (this was my second job after working in the office all day).  Manda was involved in Community Theater (singing, acting & dancing) in Middle School and then added a full commitment to Color Guard in High School among other things.  There were many long days and nights spent taxi-ing Manda from place to place.  The most interesting phenomenon during this time in Manda’s childhood, were the many conversations that took place in the car.  I’m not sure what it is about the car, but it was very conducive for long discussions about life and relationships.  It’s an effective way to communicate, because no one can escape until the destination is reached. 

Last fall, the many conversations in the car stopped abruptly when Manda was granted her driver’s license.  It was a hard as a mother to accept that the time had come for my daughter to drive (felt like a hunk of skin was being pulled from my stomach).  I think it has helped me accept the fact that Manda can get around this world on her own and that she doesn’t need her mother 24/7.  This was a necessary evolution for me. 

We are so proud of Manda.  She has been a wonderful, bright and responsible child who could be depended on to do the right thing.  It’s been a joy raising a child like this and I have had the time of my life doing it.

Perhaps my emotions should be not of ‘loss’ but of an inability to let go of a childhood.  As parents, we put our all and every smidgeon of our being into creating these amazing life forms that one day walk away and start their own lives.  How does a parent go from putting all this effort/time into a child, to releasing control and letting them take the wheel?

Children and Parents don't come with an Operators Manual.  Life happens...  I think that’s the answer.

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